Heaven

Look who got an old-school textmsg machine.

Sheliah's in etch-a-sketch heaven today.

Super fun.

6:51a.m.

When you get to work this early, people start asking why you are here.

Then you ask why they are here.

Then it is awkward.

No Soliciting. For Real.

Working in my cube, I often get get people peddling their children's music, scary art, or "film" work, etc.

Today it was this (see left)

My next sign will read...

No Soliciting, Seriously. And for NYSESLAT, GO LEFT. I AM NOT JOKING this TIME.

Restrooms This Way ----->

Sheila got on a real productive sign-making kick today, upon which seeing such work, boss says, "In all my 20+ years here, no one has taken such initiative. Thank you...Steve."

NYSESLAT Day 2

Ugh and my day of hell begins. In efforts to reduce insane amounts of money spent on coffee, self has begun to actually make coffee at home. Today, coffee tastes like soap. Self believes, self inadvertently left soap in container and filled coffee into container. Anyone who has done this must concur: coffee+ soap + soy milk + splenda = hell.

Further, today is NYSESLAT Day 2. After Day 1, self would never wish for a Day 2, however self does like making signs.

Thus, the following...

Translate! Trabajo!

I think I should do something productive. Given the large influx of Spanish speakers who assault my cube on a daily basis: 75% to you know... the rest of the pie...being whatever languages remain out there, I am going to learn Spanish. I mean to say that I am going to learn functional Spanish- enough to let that 75% know that I don't know what I am doing at this desk and that I need to get someone who does know.

I can say the following things... although I may or may not know their meaning (emphasis on not knowing) :
1. trabajo
2. habichuela negro
3. bien
4. no comprende espanole (although this is apparently not spanish at all- this is just what my friend Fe La Human Translator told me to say on the phone to a Spanish-speaking person in a moment of crisis.)
5. una momento por favor
6. para para para perro perro

Today I have a task: translate a document from English to Spanish. I am confused because I have to use google translate... or my own knowledge... or just relabel everything habichuela negro, perro, perro, perro...
But here is a shining example:

The title of the document is: INTAKE FORM.
Google Translate says that in Spanish, the new title is: Toma Forma.
Fe La (offical Spanish speaking Human says this is ridiculous).
Self is so lucky to have Fe La Human translator to over-ride Google Translate.
Of course, Fe La tells me to choose another title, thus I choose....

Lava Caliente
Am I on the right Track?
I hope so. I love Spanish!
Trabajaba! Ole!

scary art

So according to some sick person in my building, i.e. "the man," this is art.

I view this every day.

Gail says, "it looks like someone had a hard day.... or a hard year. Look at the bags under the eyes."

It looks like someone didn't have dental.

Why is this in our office?