say cheesecake!~

Cubebot did something terrible.

Cubebot made a cheesecake and brought it to Sheliah. Does he not know that she consumes a cheesecake at a rapid pace? Is Cubebot taunting Sheliah with his mad kitchen skillz?

Bad Cubebot. Go to your cube.

1

1
1 day left.Today at 3, I am free.
I am happy with happiness.

This is not really 1 full day, but keeping with the countdown theme, I will say that it is.

In reality, I have 6 hours remaining.

6 hours?! eek! It is much easier to just think 1.

Do I need to mention that as of 2day there are 2days left in the cube?

No, of course not.

But there are in fact.

2 days.

Oh joyful multi-apple of red and green. The power of 2.

free ride?

Saw this unfortunate transitcube on my commute to work.

Appears to have some sort of degenerative something or other...

I didn't even add a sunflare on this one. Its as if the heavens rained down their blessings (without my intercessions). Imagine!

Free Houses

Saw this sign on the way to work.

FREE HOUSES!!! OMG OMG! LOOK EVERYONE! FREE PLACES TO HABITATE AND LIVE FOREVER! HAPPY DAYS! FREE! LOL OMG HABSBSIVNEBVUDIO! OMG!

WAIT.

OH.

HOLD.

eh.

strike that.

it seems.

just free 24 hour recorded msg.

how. um. embarrasing.

sorry for the confusion.

jamba jamba

not even this "all natural" 20 grams of sugar, carbonated, caffeinated, stevia-laced banana/strawberry puree could keep me from drooling on a toddler while we played barbies vs trains in the child cube.

3.

I can tell there are only 3 days left until summer.
This is how I know:
1.I got up for work at 5:30 this morning but instead of leaving at 6:50 like normal, I lost track of time and didn't get into my car until 7:45 (bad)- making me ridiculously late.
2.Reason for 1. hand washing items of clothing one-by-one
3. My hair is curly on one side and flat on the other side- as if the flat side has just given up
4. have started using phrases at work like... "how should I know? I'm not the gatekeeper," with increasing regularity
5. cube nap length pushing 30 minutes to 3 hours
6. cube drooling (more often)

best chocolate ever.

i just ate the best chocolate ever.
it glowed with the sweetness of power.
i am now all powerful.
you may bow before me.
all hail sheliah.

4

Today marks...

4 more cube days.

the view from wednesday

A clean and organized workcube= a clean and organized mind.

Or...

I love post-its!

Happy Wednesday!

Countdown Continues!

Thank you Swedish road sign. Yes, today's number is 5. 5 more days until summer. 5 more days until I am released from cube hell. 5. 5. 5.


5.

just 5.

counting today.

5.

Overheard in the Cube part 3

Lady to Gail signing up for home schooling; "And do you offer anything (as in programs, extracurricular activities for students or help to parents, etc) during the summer?"

Gail to Lady; "No. And we don't offer anything during the winter either."

Hilarious!

Spring Fever

Spring fever has hit all areas of my...wardrobe, and in Penelope's words, has transformed me into a "retired art teacher/hippie Mexican."

From Cubebot: "You look Scottish."

From Random Lady in the Office... "Well aren't we totally outrageous today?" And then under her breath..."I guess Sheliah can pull it off, but not me."

Success!

And now for something old.

So I found this in the snow back in the winter of '07 and then I put it on a shelf and thought to myself... wouldn't it be nice if I could return it to its rightful owner? And after a period of several years of procrastination I finally gave up and decided to see if Nini (newly christened name) still worked. Alas she does!. A miracle! yay!

Happy Monday? from you know...

7 more days.

Art From CubeBot III, That's True

So, this is talent, That's true, That's true. But what's also true is that CubeBot III might be actually crazy, as in honestly in need of medication. And I say this because he is driving Sheliah nuts. Between smelling less than fresh and talking to himself under his breath (saying things like "that's true, that's true," "interesting," "hmmm") the quality of his art doesn't really make up for the standard of his crazy...which is high.

quality of art...medium.
standard of crazy...high.
rating of cubebot III (according to Sheliah, as of 6/17/11) **/*****

Best Week Ever.

Things that happened this week:

+ ate 12 bananas (in groupings of 3)(one grouping was upsettingly warm)
+ lost phone
+ lost wallet
+ drank copious sums of coffee
+ experienced emotions relating (but not limited to) loss of phone and wallet such as: fear, panic, sadness, confusion, denial, happiness, embarrassment, pride, rage, amusement, passion, relief, jealousy, and finally, inner peace. Then I wondered how I would continue to occupy myself in the cube because most of what I do consists of taking pictures with the phone and posting on this bleugh. I then experienced the following...
+ blank stare
+ blank stare
+ blank stare
+ blank stare

giant eyeball creature in the cube

WARNING! HAZMAT! V. STRANGE Giant EyEball CreATure has invAded the cubespAce.
BE wArned.

tAke COver.

also. kind Of Cute.

but really more just weird.

Child ART

For: Sarha
From: Amaryllis

Beautiful Child Cube Art!!!

cubeyoga

cubeyoga.

Eagle Pose.

June 2011

The last few weeks in June are such a busy time for Sheilah. Between, standing up (11am on Wednesday) to eating a bread on Friday at 9 (not pictured), to being awesome on Tuesdays and Thursdays, not to mention actually leaving the cube in 10 days, (thank god), Sheilah has a lot to do! Let's not forgot the 30 minute neck stretch on the 20th. I hope no one double books her.

cubigami

How many cubebots in addition to a Sheliah can you fit in a cube? Cubebot3 in the cube. This one has talent. Real Artistic Talent i.e. he can make origami bird. Thus. He is okay with me.

Found.

Found. Extremely tall woman with light radiating from head.

Train Time

Tiny boy back from archaeological dig enters child cube and successfully builds circular train track. Win!

rataffin

ventured outside of cube. met rataffin. went back inside.
think better to stay inside for now.

the day i learned spanish part 2.

so several people in the office speak Spanish and i really don't. however, a Spanish speaking person came by the cube today with a very serious issue involving crying and so forth and i needed to assist. so I said the following...

Hola. Buenos.
Como esta usted? Tu tienes ojos ochos.
Como puedo ayudarte?
Quieres homeschool o enrollment?
Yo no comprendo espanish. Uno momento por favore.

to quote...

Dr. S stomps mightily up to the cube and lays this one on us, "You must remember one thing... you must never get mad. Get even!" And then she turns and stomps away in a flurry. Totally amazing.
-situation made bleughable by Ameline Schwartzcoff, Superhero of Speech (i.e. Giver of the blue bean bag)

Certified and Woman Owned

So a man came by the cube today to offer his line of Jason Brand Office Products. I love office products and thus I thought I would surely love Jason Brand office products. I also love things that are certified because they sound very official whether or not they are indeed so.

To take a closer look, however, this line of Jason Brand office products is a certified woman owned enterprise. Why the name of Jason? Her son's name? A family name?

Why not name it Sheilah Brand office products?
After moi? A woman?
I'm just sayin'...

view of the cube, magna doodle pro style.

If anyone wanted to know what my office looks like, here is a superb bird's eye view. Things to the north and north west, while the waiting area is composed of 6 h's. I sit on the h in far east of the front desk cube. I am happy to report that another cubebot has joined the cube as of today, Wednesday. Name: Wendy. She is acceptable. She spends the day reading the directory that I created. Thus, she passes my rigorous criterion of acceptability.

Child cube to the southeast, framed by two h's. At the southern most edge of the office are two lone h's, lonesome and sad.

Also not pictured are the following: bookcase, lots of scary art, a bulletin board with very old bulletins, several wicker basket, dusty Teddy bear, circa 1998 computer rocking Windows 2000, and lots of paper strewn haphazardly throughout, broken phone, broken pencil sharpener.

happy wednesday from cubehell

got to the cube and found a gift awaiting me.

a crossword entitled "the best of your life."

Begin PSA. if a crossword is indeed, "the best thing in your life," it is time for a reevaluation. of your life. End PSA.

however, it was sweet for the cubebot to leave me a crossword.

happy wednesday from cubehell.

Cube Poker

Played a few rounds of Cube Poker ® with CubeBot and won some Staples invisible tape, post-its and 11 Bic Easy Glide Stylo-bille retractable black pens. Win!

HazMat

ALERT! 8th floor large conference room temporarily closed due to... something.

a minor, minor, health issue.

as health issues are really just that.

minor.

the issue should be resolved soon.

until then, take a seat in the lobby, have a coffee. have a smoke.

eat a donut, read these signs.

To your right.

Right.

I am really just writing (right) to take up space.

magna doodle pro

dreamed of my magna doodle this weekend. 2 days without magna is 2 days without sunshine.

2 days without joy. 2 days with out magnets.

sticking to other magnets.

making magnet fun time.

wasting time.

realized magna doodle pro is called thus due to secret side drawer holding shapes.

triangle.

circle.

square.

six sided flower thing.

Magna Doodle Art

Arriving at Sheliah's Cube with late NYSELAT tests and upon such arrival being told they should return back to their schools, obtain a letter from their principal explaining test lateness, and then hop upon subterrain transit cube out to LONG ISLAND CITY! EEK!, cube visitors gladly partake in Magna Doodle stress-reduction therapy (TM Sheliah) and time-wasting tecnique.

Omar Jimenez spent about 30 minutes perfecting superhero (above, right). Super! Way to Go!

Magna Doodle el trabajo!

Look, it's useful!

Everyone can benefit.

I am such a good employee.

Heaven

Look who got an old-school textmsg machine.

Sheliah's in etch-a-sketch heaven today.

Super fun.

6:51a.m.

When you get to work this early, people start asking why you are here.

Then you ask why they are here.

Then it is awkward.

No Soliciting. For Real.

Working in my cube, I often get get people peddling their children's music, scary art, or "film" work, etc.

Today it was this (see left)

My next sign will read...

No Soliciting, Seriously. And for NYSESLAT, GO LEFT. I AM NOT JOKING this TIME.

Restrooms This Way ----->

Sheila got on a real productive sign-making kick today, upon which seeing such work, boss says, "In all my 20+ years here, no one has taken such initiative. Thank you...Steve."

NYSESLAT Day 2

Ugh and my day of hell begins. In efforts to reduce insane amounts of money spent on coffee, self has begun to actually make coffee at home. Today, coffee tastes like soap. Self believes, self inadvertently left soap in container and filled coffee into container. Anyone who has done this must concur: coffee+ soap + soy milk + splenda = hell.

Further, today is NYSESLAT Day 2. After Day 1, self would never wish for a Day 2, however self does like making signs.

Thus, the following...

Translate! Trabajo!

I think I should do something productive. Given the large influx of Spanish speakers who assault my cube on a daily basis: 75% to you know... the rest of the pie...being whatever languages remain out there, I am going to learn Spanish. I mean to say that I am going to learn functional Spanish- enough to let that 75% know that I don't know what I am doing at this desk and that I need to get someone who does know.

I can say the following things... although I may or may not know their meaning (emphasis on not knowing) :
1. trabajo
2. habichuela negro
3. bien
4. no comprende espanole (although this is apparently not spanish at all- this is just what my friend Fe La Human Translator told me to say on the phone to a Spanish-speaking person in a moment of crisis.)
5. una momento por favor
6. para para para perro perro

Today I have a task: translate a document from English to Spanish. I am confused because I have to use google translate... or my own knowledge... or just relabel everything habichuela negro, perro, perro, perro...
But here is a shining example:

The title of the document is: INTAKE FORM.
Google Translate says that in Spanish, the new title is: Toma Forma.
Fe La (offical Spanish speaking Human says this is ridiculous).
Self is so lucky to have Fe La Human translator to over-ride Google Translate.
Of course, Fe La tells me to choose another title, thus I choose....

Lava Caliente
Am I on the right Track?
I hope so. I love Spanish!
Trabajaba! Ole!

scary art

So according to some sick person in my building, i.e. "the man," this is art.

I view this every day.

Gail says, "it looks like someone had a hard day.... or a hard year. Look at the bags under the eyes."

It looks like someone didn't have dental.

Why is this in our office?