"I'm talking to the people who are telling me lies!"

Today Cubebot 3's behavior is growing increasingly strange, as he sits in his chair, drinks coffee after coffee, watches Occupy TV on the computer, and makes noises every few seconds... harrumph, snicker, you racist pig, you lying scum, etc. Finally, I have had enough and I ask, "Are you talking to someone?" Cubebot 3 responds adamantly and points at the screen, "I'm talking to the people who are telling me lies!"

Happy Birthday (cube edition)

Wendybot brought me some birthday treats. Hurrah!
Happy Birthday to myself!

It's beginning to look a lot like Cubemas...

Wendybot and I ventured into the forbidden closet today and pulled out the Christmas/Chanukah/Winter holiday decor and promptly vomited it about the cube in a garish display of secular delight (pictured left). I think my favorite piece is the deluxe electric menorah with blue and white flame shaped bulbs from Star-Bright Productions, circa 1986. Merry Holiday! OLE!

desuetude

Lately I have been spending my time learning new words like diffidence, demur, and desuetude. I have enjoyed learning words so much that I have written them down on index cards and have begun to quiz myself as if I am in my own cube classroom with myself as myself's teacher. Strange, yes, but efficacious, yes. Here are some sentences with some new words.

Cubebot's bald head is so barren and in such a state of disrepair, it has fallen into desuetude.
Wendybot is more reserved and diffident, while Cubebot is bold and confident.
The group wanted to make Sheliah the president of the cube, but she demurred.

If these sentences are in some way wrong, I didn't write them, Sheliah did. That's my disclaimer.

It grows

So my collection of useless crap grows with some empty Hershey's tin can things. They now reside in front of fabric christmas plant on top of the ancient HP Compaq LA1905wg computer tower to the right of Hugs, the G-Humping Wonder-cAt.

Hello 64

Got to work this morning and according to this Galileo-type, liquid, glass encased, decorative, novelty desk thermometer, it is approximately 64 degrees in the cube.

Christmas in the Cube

It may be October... or May or April or any month really, but there's a fake poinsettia plant that says its Christmas in the cube. A really gaudy fake plant Christmas. Merry winter holiday time to you and your brethren.

Hugs + Scerf

Hugs has been scerfing up a storm.

The day I got to work early, part 3

So yesterday Sheliah had to have a tooth pulled (very unfortunate) and it seems to have reset her internal master clock because this morning she was up at 5am and at work by 7. This is an hour too early. Oh well. Guess I will have to spend the hour eating chocolate.

wonderful

Woman walks into cubespace.
"I am here to see Cyndy Rondandia. I may be on the wrong floor."
Cubebot: "Could well be. Let me go through the WONDERFUL alphabet," as he flips through the WONDERFUL office directory. "Cyndy is on the WONDERFUL 8th FLOOR. Have a WONDERFUL day!"
Woman smiles politely and leaves as quickly as possible. Lucky.

the visitor

This woman came by the office today to sign her children up for home schooling. I had to tell her we don't serve child art here. It's very discriminatory.

From Jeff

Found this on my way to work this morning. Notice two numbers have been taken from the bottom left of the flyer. Way to go, Jeff.

another day, another muffin

Pumpkin Spice Muffin. It's hopeless.

brain dead

In an effort to pull myself back from the brink of total boredom and in what has now become a full year of brain waste in the cube, I have decided to pursue something somewhat academic. Since I am a generally nervous person, I will learn about the nervous system. Yay dendrites!

lunch

Another negative to cube life is the large number of conference rooms here. Today, for example, there are 14 meetings, conferences, or somesuch somethings going on. Apparently these things require copious amounts of food, large portions of which are never eaten and end up in my cube. Today I am unfortunately very hungry and am faced with this (pictured right). To some, this may be a gift, to me it is a curse.
Sugar, why do you taunt me so?

New in Pink

The other scarf I was scarfing turned out so amazingly unattractive. Brown, blue, and off-white, full of holes and different patterns. So naturally, I was ready for something pink. Then a bump appeared up the right side (also known as a cable). Exciting!

Guy in crisis

Walked into this situation in the 7th floor stairwell.
Mistakes were made.
911 was not called.
Chest compressions began before checking to see if man was breathing.
Glad I was not that man because I tend to sleep a lot.
on the job.

Sign Over

How many signs = too many signs?

Found: Child Art

So I was down the hall and around the corner from my cube (making use of the ancient death-machine microwave) this morning when I came across this amazing find. It appears to be some sort of historic art piece made by (eek) children. These children obviously had some sense of humor and/or were not children at all, but artistically- disabled adults. Please note the cyclops dead center, Spock in the lower right corner and the optimistic yellow brick road (obviously referencing The Wizard of Oz, every child's favorite story), the hefty man placing the cap on the head of the thin man (near the cyclops), and of course, the man in the blue shirt doing gymnastics on a friend's back (to the northwest of Spock). Interpretations welcome!

hump-day disarray

Wednesday was busy. I am going to write some sentence fragments about the business... or the busy-ness... It was so busy I had little time to bleugh anything(not a fragment)... people coming in( a fragment), people walking in circles, with their heads tucked downwards staring into their tiny cellphones, people asking me why they were here and where they should go (which made me feel very mighty and powerful), children. just children. existing and stuff. oh and one family of particularly loud children came. they were loud and they dropped lots of toys on the ground. then when it was time to go, they just left (as pictured right) and left a battleground of destruction in their wake. Horrific! The next human to enter cubespace promptly fell over toy-wasteland. Wicked! Does one not even pretend to look where one is stepping? Sheliah laughed before she could get a firm grasp on reality. Horrors! No picture exists of this tragedy for I did not leap out and snap a picture like a fame/money starved paparazzo. And thank heavens for that. It would have been my end for sure.

New Scarfing Update.

Here is my new scarfing as of today, Wednesday of some week in October of some year. Lots of YO's. Kinda wished I hadn't started with the dirt brown color because it makes adding other colors really difficult. What looks good with dirt brown? Pink? no. Orange? no. Purple? Definitely no. I am still adding pink though because do I really care that much? No.

Cubebot's Cube-famous Cupcakes

Cubebot brought cupcakes to the cube and he wouldn't take "That's gross. I won't eat that," or my knitting needles to the face for an answer, so I ended up with this glowing orb of autumnal chocolate. It was delicious. It tasted like October.

+1 for Coffee

According to researchers at Harvard's Medical School, "compared with women who drank one cup of caffeinated coffee or less per week, those who consumed two to three cups per day had a 15% decreased risk of developing depression." This sounds totally obvious. Caffeine in the brain increases dopamine, which leads to feelings of energy and well-being. They would find similar results after administering a small dose of amphetamine. Oh, and "coffee must have caffeine to have the effect," say the researchers. No, seriously.

What was interesting about the study was that regular coffee drinkers were more likely to smoke and drink alcohol and were less likely to be involved in church, volunteer or participate in community groups. These are factors that might make a person more susceptible to depression, however, when controlled for the trend of increasing coffee consumption and lower depression remained. Interesting.



BBC News article here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15059266

Time to clean the cube.

One of my favorite things to do is daily cleaning with Cubex Brand Cube Cleaner. Fresh, Clean, Lemony.

ugh. dumbest building ever.

So it's noon and all of the elevators are broken. All 6 of the elevators are out. And we already know that no one can use the stairs or you get locked in the stairwell. So no stairs, no use elevator.

ties ties ties

Cubebot shared his extensive tie collection today and I got to play with all the colors. I tied a Windsor knot. Yay fun time!

From the MTA to the DOE

Riding the subway this morning (something I do as infrequently as possible because Sheliah hates the train)

I see that the MTA does not promote recycling but in fact, seems to encourage simply throwing away trash into one receptacle, especially if it is a cup (see pictured top left.)


I am not surprised by anything, however. My building has demoted fitness for years (see bottom left).

The girl who spits on clothes

So this lady walks into the cubespace to enroll her daughter in home schooling. I find her to be particularly odd. She literally bounces off the walls and won't take verbal instruction, i.e. Please remain seated, please sign in, please fill out the office visit form, please don't chew the table, etc. It turns out she is Elisa Jimenez, perhaps better known as "the girl who spits on clothes" from Season 4 of Project Runway. She actually identifies herself as both. Ugh. The people we see in here.

Is that Jesus on your Poncho?

Woman walked into cubespace, turned around and as she began to remove her poncho, I viewed a most holy light. Alas, the Lord.
Then she folded said poncho and rested it gently in the trash (view right).

New Scarfing

So I am scarfing a new scarf. This one is holey! For anyone who knits, the pattern is very simple:
Cast on 3 million stitches (I casted on 50), knit 50 rows (I knitted 3) and then:
Row 1: Knit 2, YO, K2Tog, Repeat Forever....
Rows 2, 3, 4: Knit
Repeat 1-4 until finished with whatever it is you are making (you can shawl a shawl or you can scarf a scarf).
This is boring but makes a nice holey pattern. Unfortunately, I am not so much for paying attention or rather, I get interrupted often and can't remember what row I am on. Thus, after row 9 or so, I started just knitting row 1 over and over. I think this will result in a very holey scarf.

Noo. Please Noo.

This hangs oon the fridge at woork. This is noot ook. NOOT OOK!

SCARF nearly DONE! Thanks Hugs!

In the night, HUGS, the G-Humping Wonder cAT must have scarfed my scarf because its nearly complete! Just a few more rows and it will be finished! Thanks HUGS (pictured, top right).

Words from the wise janitor

Wise janitor: "The people here are about as sharp as a pound of wet liver."
CubeBot: "You mean the elevator doesn't go to the top floor?"

HUGS, the G-humping wonder cAt

And now,

rescued from the trash

is HUGS,

the G-Humping Wonder cAT!



Yay HUGS!

And now for something educational...

When I first saw this article from the BBC, Stimulating brain with electricity aids learning speed , I imagined New York City students given free range to roam the hallways with tasers, zapping each other with wild abandon. And then everyone getting smarter (for real- with no one doctoring test scores and such). That's not what the article is about though.

For the real article, go here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14975165

Why Cubebot is a bot

So Cubebot has this extremely irritating way of calling everything "wonderful" or "bouncing." Whenever someone enters the cubespace and asks a question, no matter what it is, it always results in cubebot saying..."Follow the bouncing signs," or "Two things; First please sign in, and then there's this wonderful office visit form..."

Lady enters the cubespace about 2 seconds ago and says: "Hi, I need to see Brunilda in Room 722.
Cubebot: "Follow the wonderful signs!"

Yesterday.
Man enters cubespace with his son and says: "Hi, we need to sign up for home school."
Cubebot: "Two things; First, sign this bouncing sign in-form and then fill out the wonderful office visit form!"

What a bot. What an annoying bot.

Today's Task

Today's tasks involve (obviously)scarfing, drinking tea, and unfortunately, sticking thousands of labels onto thousands of plain manila file folders (pictured left) Boredom ensues.

Sheliah gets professional.

Sheliah gets professional! How is this for a sign? And it's only just a little pushy/bossy. Plus one for Sheliah. It is going to be a good week.

Across the hall and to your left...

It's 8:08 and I'm already annoyed. Man enters cubespace.
Man: "Do you know where is my PD [professional development]?"
[Note: Today's PD's and meetings are all posted right in front of him, as well as in several places around cubespace]
Me: "Which one?"
Man: looks at me, shocked. "I don't know which one."
Me: "Sir. Who are you and why are you here then?"
Man: "I... I..."
Me: "We have several PDs available for your enjoyment today. Please view and choose...." I point to one of the signs.
Man stands and stares for 5 minutes then says, "oh, I am a psychologist. Does that matter?"
Me: "Yes. You must be here for the Psychologists' PD in the 7th floor large conference room, across the hall and to the left. Please go there now."

People have continued to file in and interactions have continued in a similar manner. Why intelligent, seemingly well-educated people don't read signs, I don't know. I think it may be a long day.

Pic of the Day: Thursday

Today's Pic of the Day brought to you by: my office. This sign hangs outside of my cube by the elevators. I love it. Thank you DOE. Thank you.

View from Wednesday (solarized)

Wendybot and Cubebot work the cube.

Jeremiah

So Jeremiah and his grandmother enter the cubespace and Jeremiah immediately finds the chair closest to the exit and slumps into it, pulling his hoodie over his eyes. His grandmother tells me that she intends to transfer him back into general education but that he has been in home school for the past two years and used to have an IEP. I tell her she should go to one of the student registration centers set up around the city. She of course, is unhappy that she can't register him here, but whatever, its the DOE and it doesn't make any sense. I do mention that she should stop by the 4th floor and ask about having him re-evaluated since he had an IEP when he previously attended school.
About an hour later, Jeremiah and his gmother return, this time Jeremiah very awake and vocal... His grandmother goes to the home schooling desk and begins to fill out paperwork as Jeremiah says, "don't you sign me up for home school! I'm gonna lose another year of my life. I done already lost two years already."

Grandmother tells me that because its going to take a while for the reevaluation, they could either put Jeremiah back into the 9th grade special ed class he was in 2 years ago (which he flipped out over) or put him back into home school while they wait for the reeval). Grandmother opted for the latter, however, Jeremiah opted for no option and is instead throwing a tantrum: a strange, calm, sociopathic-like, sitting slumped in a chair but yelling and threatening grandmother tantrum-thing.


There are probably 15 people in the office today, 3 other families, a security guard that I called, cubebot, and I, Gail (the home school lady) and Jeremiah and his g-mother. Jeremiah says loudly... "I will not go back into special ed with those f****ng retards. I'll f****ng spit on you [grandmother], and my f****ng po [parole officer]. I'll spit on your face. I won't lose another year. Your f****ng kids tore up my notebooks when I was locked up. You let your kids tear up all my f*****ng notebooks. You make me get up in the morning and you say, 'do your work' but there is no work. I won't lose another year!"
Then his grandmother starts to say, "You got a dark demon in you, boy. You got a devilish devil demon in you. I'm gonna pray for you boy."

I can't really handle this so I grab my morning snack and I say, "Hey Jeremiah, you look a little hungry, you want this banana? Really, it's not a problem. I'm not gonna eat it. I don't mind."
Jeremiah, "No! Miss, No! I don't want your f****ng banana!"
Banana fail. But I go sit in between Jeremiah and his grandmother until she finishes filling out the paperwork- signing him up for yet another pointless year of home schooling. No one got spit on. Not even me. Success.
And no one got handcuffed either. Not even me. Major win.

Tea Wisdom for a Tuesday

Thanks tea for being so deep. Where would my Tuesday be without tea wisdom? Probably in Monday.

Still Scarfing

I've been scarfing this scarf since last year. Hope I finish before it gets too cold to scarf.

Cubebot did it again

And again with the cake.
Good heavens! I do declare!
Seriously though. What the hell?
Stop bringing cake. I can't control myself.

tea wisdom: friday edition

Thanks tea. Thanks a lot.

modern art discovered in cube

While doing laps around the cube, I happened upon some modern art.
Hurrah! Perhaps I shall skip the MOMA this afternoon and ponder the depth and grandeur of this work, "Banana Paperclip."

Ringer

Kinda can't wait for this new show.

I see this outside my cube every morning and get excited.

SMG = Sheliah's not-so-secret hero.

tea tea tea

So Sheliah started drinking lots of tea. Not lots of tea throughout the day but lots of tea all at once.

New Toys

Hot Wheels in the cube!

We have so many toys now (yay) but it is getting a little crowded (boo).

Not to mention the astounding number of humans habituating the cube; Sheliah... Cubebot, Wendybot, Cubebot3...

What will become of us?!

Only serious theories welcome.

pay stub stupor

So, bored in the cube, I decided to check on my pay stub for the upcoming pay period to see if 1. I suddenly and randomly received a magical pay raise or 2. suddenly and randomly had any terrible deductions.

No to #1 but unfortunately yes to #2.

Looks like Sheliah had an "unauthorized absence." What is that anyway? Who do you authorize an absence with when you work for the city in an unmarked cube on the 7th floor of an office building in lower Manhat? Is this referring to my summer vacation? The long, peaceful, beach-filled, oddly- spinach filled days of summer? If so, then "unauth absence," accepted. However, I believe those days are granted to me due to being awesome. Therefore, what the hell?

Post #101: Overheard in NYCube

Overheard in the cube: irate woman on cell phone.

"What?! There's no school on Friday? School hasn't even started yet! I shoulda left [my son] down south. I can't believe this."

A Gold Star

And today Sheliah was awarded a gold star for excellence in being awesome.